If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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