'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
