yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
