sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
