remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
id be glad to
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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