yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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