Joe is yelling at the trees again.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
