your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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