he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
