Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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