Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
