i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
