You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
