At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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