I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
