I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
