my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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