DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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