Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize