it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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