we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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