Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
