Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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