Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hippo gnu deer
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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