Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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