oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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