oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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