accomplished twins. life is a go
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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