Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
