I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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