Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dicks are not precious.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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