Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
