It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
