I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
