so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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