The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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