what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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