that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
