Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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