I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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