Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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