I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
