Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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