Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
