He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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