also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
