How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
