So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need to align my fucking chakras
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
