these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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