Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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