My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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