Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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