Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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