I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
