Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize