Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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