I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
