Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize