Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
