True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
