you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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