We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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