Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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