all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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